july 5, 2004 - 19:02 - 30 second fuse, 2 feet of pvc
to wake up, like this, is to taste life again.
fingers, stained black with carbon soot, pressed against my sandy face;
they leave marks that will be discovered hours later, in a bright blue gas
station bathroom, and sheepishly wiped away with extended sleeve.
the fury of last night: 2 pork ribs as long as my forearm, 5 bottles of beer, 3 bottles water, 1 serving brown beans, 2 servings cole slaw, and over 130 independent mortar shells, tossed into the black. a feeble offering—or statement?—to the stars.
(oh how we love to blow shit up.)
the fuzzy of right now: the distant drone-roar of the pacific resonates in a mind still groggy with beer, and somewhat numbed by the repetitive concussion of the prior evening's pyrotechnics. hasty consciousness comes as the world spins east, grows brighter: it's too damn early to be awake.
first stirred by morning sun, i'm now sleepless in the subtle, semi-acrid haze of consumed incandescents, exhausted propellants. i can't help but to imagine trace particles of aluminum, magnesium, and maybe a little titanium swirling about me, sticking to me like the sand on my skin; a cancerous film that clings to the small hairs in my nose, dancing with each breath, as if to lure the stranger onward, deeper into my chest.
the girl who broke my heart: she's lying next to me, still swimming in her own unconsciousness, having finally retreated from my own.
how can something so soft cut so deeply?
i wake up with million year old specks of sand, violently torn from billion year old rocks, each grain fulfilling a trajectory through eternity to cut into my face. the mighty pacific laps complacently at my feet, while caustic, probably-going-to-kill-me-prematurely, heavy metal particulate lines my chest and all i can think about is this small, treacherous, fragile thing, that slumbers on in relative indifference to my left.
i wonder what she's dreaming about.
( i wonder what she'd do if i ignited a three stage, phosphour fun flaming dragon tail in her sleeping bag. )
( more )
| 
