june 21, 2003 - 17:10 - move with your heart, not your head
today i experienced what a recovering addict might refer to as a textbook
"relapse."
actually, i guess it happened last night...
an innocuous email broadcasts hamburgers and beer (free food)
at the local scooter shop, alerts jack to pervasive and haunting
sensation of cabin fever.
after arriving, i loitered in the parking lot for a little while,
chatting, drinking. it was shortly after i stepped inside:
an improbable instant where crowd chaos abated, and line of sight was
briefly established. blue eyes meet original corello glass;
i exhale involuntarily, then look away.
there is a point when reason is lost, and instinct kicks in.
after soo many years of 'good behavior,' so many years of truly
inspirationless first encounters, there she was. in fact,
only the embarassment of waking up with a hang-over and an
unfamiliar (and spendy) woman in my home prevented her from returning
with me last night.
i said i should go home, go home and "sleep it off."
yah, like that did me any good...
june 18, 2002 - 15:28 - look busy, they're coming
newsflash: management decides that workerbees have grown far too
complacent, far too comfortable in their beige cages; elects to 'stir
things up' by springing another round of surprise layoffs.
with the (relatively recent) experience of being chewed up and spit
out of the life-altering redundancy machine, i feel that i've developed
a unique perspective on the event. --in retrospect, i've found that
it's always the sheer mystery of the process that's haunting, not the outcome.
you know it's happening. usually, you even know the number.
hushed murmurs spread rumors that make even those who know,
second-guess themselves. everybody makes little tallies,
counting the confirmed hits, subtracting from the total, calculating
the remainder: it only takes 1 to be you.
it is in the quiet, solitary moments that the possibility of 'it'
really stings. stare at your monitor, stare your cube decorations,
stare your damned todo list. what if it is you?
chances are, you hate that job anyway.
so then you loathe yourself for hanging onto a job you loathe just
so you can pay some bills that you loathe and ...
( well, you get the idea. )
trust me, if it does happen, and you are the one, a sort of
improbable nirvana opens up, invites you in. it's a relief, a really;
a sort of scary calm washes over you, chilling last moment's
nervous sweat, and you find yourself shuddering in the cold clear
unavoidable opportunity for change. blinking like an idiot.
it's kind of like a rockshow. sometimes, you know
the mosh pit's coming, (metallica's playing, duh). sometimes it just
happens, (two tapers start fighting for the prime spot at belle & sebastian)
and soon indie kids are bleeding, a girl's lost her glasses, and some jerk's
spilt beer on my adidas.
at the end of the show, a select few are dragged from the building,
and those that are left find themselves wandering around in aimless circles,
their ears ringing from the noise.
of course, the next morning, there is little left to document the
experience, other than 20 proof tennies and sedate reports written by robots
proclaiming how great the music sounded.
anyway, another round has passed; this time, i'm in the subset defined by n-k;
a group casually identified as survivors. of course,
such a label belies the fact that this group is precisely the same
set that will be sweating again next month, when the cycle repeats.
whatever, i need a damn summatra.
june 12, 2003 - 15:23 - 2fast 2furious - necesito mojito!
so, it's a bit after the fact, but as i'm sitting here sifting
through stack traces of forwarded corefiles, i can't help but
to nod my head to the smooth melody of the afro-cuban allstars,
courtesy of itunes, she.
...a little gdb, and it dawns on me, this is the answer
to almost every complaint i have for a recent cinematic experience.
you see, i've been on this big cuban kick lately -- i'm not sure
if the root is better traced to pambiché, my fav. portland restaurant,
or the fact that i simply grew wary of all the other stations
whilst playing grand theft auto: vice city. (probably a
synthesis of both).
actually, i'm getting ahead of myself. let's roll it back.
flashback: it's early summer, 2001. i conn my
mate rm into rolling to a matinee of fast and the furious.
(yes, i admit it; i'm into campy action films). anyway, we
had this big wannabe-rice-racer dialog going on at the time, and it was
a no-brainer for a lazy saturday afternoon.
anyway, walking out.. it dawns on me that i actually liked
the film. i won't bother to explain, as that's not really the
purpose of this post.
whatever. flash-forward to this weekend: the studio, banking
on the 'surprise success' of the first film, tries to make a second.
as many know, this is usually folly for disaster, but occasionally
it works. (immediate example: empire strikes back).
so, i tried it. and: well, um, uh, it... "it left me wanting."
it wasn't until i was walking out of the theater that it
dawned on me... were the viewer to substitue the modern,
neon-hilighted, fiberglass-skirted cars with an appropriate array
of 80's european sports cars, and this movie was little more than a
live action rendition of aformentioned game, gta: vice city.
now, as i'm listening to the afro-cuban allstars, i find
myself wondering: 'what if i were to watch that movie again, this
time substituting all of the hamster-brained dialog with a huge
cuban playlist, smuggled into the theater via ipod.'
i'm willing to gamble that it would be a far superior cinematic
experience...
the burning question: is my theory worth the $5 required to test?
june 12, 2003 - 08:17 - new diet, more carbs!
finally saved enough pennies in my project jar to order a fancy new
sidedraft manifold and carb for my 2002: very fortunate, as the repeated
stalls from my tired stock solex has passed out of the 'cute phase,' and
into something far more insidious.
on the lighter side, with the conversion from downdraft to sidedraft,
and that big ole' weber on there, (supposing i can actually tune it right),
that little 02 might just become pretty competitive during autoX.
better still, it's still a light enough mod that i can still run
within the "street prepared" class, per SCCA's own definition.
of course, right now, i might sound like i know what i'm talking about.
i really don't, and to be honest, i guess that's the most
fun part about it.
i hope julliette likes it...
june 10, 2003 - 17:28 - the aftermath
well, it's over now: last weekend was the first time i've been
on the 'management' side of a scooter rally; an admittedly enervating
experience when it comes to preparation considerations.
that said, once it was underway, things seemed to go pretty smoothly...
well, at least, the saturday ride that i lead did. unfortunately,
it seems like a few people had some difficulties with the gymkhana
(scooter obstacle course) that i had designed. in fact,
i believe during the 'trial' rounds, we had about a 70% kill rate
(i.e. 7 of the first 10 bikes to run it crashed).
wimps. ;)
then again, even i had a pretty wicked wheelie-runout after that final
launch ramp. (of course, i saved it with a sweet motocross-style
fishtail near the bushes: one of those events that take you so close to
the edge that later, you find yourself wondering if it was more
luck, or skill that saved your arse.)
shiny side up, yet sometimes sideways: this is jack's definiton of style.
of course, after such a display of unconvential scooter physics, there
were some pale faces when i turned to the crowd and started asking for
volunteers to enter the contest. 'yes, i
promise, your scooters can take it.'
translation: shutup and ride, you prissy mod!
in retrospect, i shouldn't have been surprised when later that night,
half-crazed drunken mobs turned towards my beautiful ramps when the
limited supply of firewood was exhausted.
--perhaps there was more motive to their actions than the basic need
for combustibles; perhaps it was some primitive form of vengence?
(damn, can ducati crates burn fast and bright.)
anyway, i wonder if they'll ask me to design next years gymkhana?
i've got this great idea for a swing...
june 6, 2003 - 17:41 - a dozen spinning fans...
i spend an entire week in "sunny" santa cruz, where it's overcast
and 60', (heavenly), just to return to "damp" portland, where it's
crystal clear and 100'?
( mother nature be smokin' dat wacky tobaccy; it's not s'posed
to get this hot this far north. ...time to move again!)
jack don't like da'sweat!
then again, some sunshine will be nice during the rally this weekend. -- i'm bringing my water pistol. the orange one.
betta-run, sucka-scootah-fools!
june 02, 2003 - 18:23 - blue monday
damn. sometimes, i think a simple life in orange is best.
others, i'm almost certain there's just not enough
blue.
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